Roger Federer is Clearly on Steroids, Serena, and It's Super Bowl Time!

I just watched the end of the Austrailian Open, and all I can say is...

Are you serious?

This is less Hater-ish than it is me trying to understand how one man can win pretty much every tournament he enters.

This isn't 1920, when one technological advance can give you the edge over the entire world, its 2007 and everyone has extra stuff going for them.

But have you seen this dude play tennis? I don't watch a ton of tennis (especially men's, its too lame - serve, return into the net...rinse repeat) but I do watch the Grand Slams as a result of being my mother's loving oldest son. (When I was like...10, I explained to her what a triple break point was...and she'd played all her life *KISS* LOVE YOU MOMS!)

So I was really trying to see what Serena was about to do...and let me say this...other than the final and her 1st round match...them skinny little Ruso-Chzecko-Spaniard girls wilted under the pressure of a Strong Black Woman screaming at them during the match.

On the real, Serena should've got put out in every round...Especially in the quarters against Peer, the Israeli with a bunch of her countrymen watching...but she didn't.

I promise you...this is exactly what played out...Serena digs herself a hole...she looks at the other girl...gets mad, starts playing a little better...digs herself out of hole #1...only to quickly dig hole #2...a much deeper set or match point hole...and she's start yelling...and whatever tennis waif she was playing against went from "yeah I'm bout to show Serena" to "oh sh*t, I have to change after this...damn, look at her arms...her thighs...she might crush me with a scorpion death lock in the locker room or something...what?...its my turn to serve?"

Every

single...

round...

Until the final.

Serena beat THE SH*T out of Mario Sharapova - whose match highlight was slamming an overhead lob AT Serena when down 4-0 in the first set. The cameras caught Serena saying "what the f..." in slow mo...and that probably was the end.

Oh wait...did I mention Mario Sharapova is the NUMBER ONE ranked player in the world? She beat her 6-1, 6-2. In 58 minutes.

So yeah, Serena could proabably "Federer" the women's circuit if she wanted to...but that would mean she was on Steroids...or Human Growth Horomone...or EPO...
Think about it. Roger Federer is so good they don't even call him Roger anymore.

"That's KING Federer to you, bitch"

I want them to drug test him. Seriously. The ONLY thing he can't do is win on clay, and he still made the French Open final last year and won the first set against "Clay Czar" Rafael Nadal. If I were a pro-tennis player I might go ahead and take the next three years off to rest my body for his eventual decline. He's 4 Grand Slams from tying Pete Sampras' record of 14 Major Titles...At this rate, he'll be accomplishing that feat at the U.S. Open in 2008. And he'll be 27.

Big ups to the Barry Bonds of Tennis...

And no I don't really think you're cheating via performance enhancing drugs.

As for the Super Bowl...The Soul Bowl...whatever they want to call it. I think Bears - Colts was something you could've predicted at the beginning of the year, but not after the Colts lost to the Houston Texans in Week 16. Then again, in sports as in life, sometimes you have to really really trick off a little bit before you pause, and realize "what the **** am I doing???" - at which point the next few opponents you play are in trouble

BUT

I will say this...

No...I'll ask this...

You didn't think the Pats were still going to win that game on their last drive?

I did.

Two timeouts. One minute left...and then they showed a camera shot of STONE COLD TOM BRADY warming up on the sideline.
Having somehow begun cheering for the Colts (despite my respect for the Pats) I said, outloud, sitting alone in my living room with Pizza Hut pizza..."oh sh*t - these mofos are in trouble"

And then Brady completed a pass to get them to the Colts 40 and you just knew it was over...then a PICK! WHAT! They PICKED OFF the coldest clutch QB of the modern era? Wow.
I think the NFL scripts these games.

And whats up with Reche Caldwell? Not only does he drop every easy pass on earth, his EYES...Was he on X? How do you play in the AFC Champship Game high on Ecstacy? Is that a good idea? I mean your eyes are about to fall out of your head dude. He looked like someone was going to put a hit out on him. Or already had...seriously.

But anyway, congrats to Tony Dungy and the Indianapolis Colts...Edgerrin James, I hope you like money homie.

As for the Bears - Lovie Smith has himself a squad. They don't have two of their top playmakers on Defense and still get the job done. Rex Grossman is crazy. That's all I can say about the QB with the 2nd most 100-pt QB rating games and THE most sub 40-pt QB ratings during the season. A "good" QB should be able to get at least an 85 average for the season. A 100 is a great game. 40? That's like going 12-35 for 82 yards and 3 interceptions.

I had Grossman on my fantasy team and am well aware of this. But they still got it done. Thats cool. Because I was cheering for the Saints (Who Dat say they gonna beat them Saints?) because I'm down with Reggie "Hell Yeah I took extra benefits in College, I Earned it" Bush, and Drew Brees and I like how Sean Payton calls whatever plays he damn well pleases. But its all good.

Oh yeah. The FAMU Marching 100 will be performing with Prince at Halftime of the Super Bowl...get ready haters!

Go Gators - Dr. Hak's 2006 College Football Wrap and 2007 Preview

As I predicted, The University of Florida Gators are 2006 National Champions. Congratulations!

Dr. Hak's Final 2006 Rankings
1. Florida
2. Boise State
3. Ohio State
4. Louisville
5. LSU
6. USC
7. Michigan
8. Wisconsin
9. Auburn
10. West Virginia
11. Oklahoma
12. Rutgers
13. Texas
14. Wake Forest
15. BYU
16. Virginia Tech
17. Cal
18. Arkansas
19. TCU
20. Notre Dame
21. Georgia
22. Oregon State
23. Hawaii
24. Penn State
25. Maryland

Others Receiving Consideration: Tennessee, Nebraska, Texas A&M, Houston, Georgia Tech,

Now we can move on the important things...next year, as in 2007, soon to be known as...The Year of the Wolverine!

Top 10 for 2007

*subject to change depending on early departures*
1. USC (two plays away from being undefeated this year. loaded)
2. Michigan (entire offense returns)
3. West Virginia (Slaton and White)
4. Texas (pending McCoy's full recovery from injury)
5. Florida (Defense, Percy Harwin and Tim Tebow)
6. LSU (I'm of the opinion that LSU is better off without alleged NFL Top Pick JaMarcus Russell)
7. Nebraska (seems ready to break through)
8. Arkansas (McFadden and Mustain)
9. Louisville (Brohm returning but Petrino & Bush leaving hurts)
10. Georgia (late season surge worth noting. Stafford will have experience)

Keep an eye on:
11. Kansas State, 12. Rutgers, 13. Virginia Tech, 14. Miami, 15. Wisconsin, 16. Boise State, TCU, Utah, Hawaii, Cal, Tennessee, Auburn, Maryland, Florida State, South Carolina, Oklahoma, Penn State, Alabama (Nick Saban), Arizona State, North Carolina (Butch Davis),

Rebuilding years:
Ohio State, Notre Dame, Boston College, LSU (kinda)

Next year should be a much more exciting year from start to finish. There's a lot of junior-dominated teams out there right now. Action this year didn't pick up until late October.

Viva Le College Football!!!