I Paid To See Chris Benoit

So... by now you've heard about the pro wrestler that killed his family? Well you might also know that he missed a big show the night before they found them.

Well...I went to that show, and I went specifically to see him perform. He was my favorite. Or at least in the Top 3.

And he didnt show up.
And I was pissed. I felt like I had wasted my money.
And I felt stupid the next day when they said he was dead. But the thought had crossed my mind that he was responsible for some reason.

And then I went home to watch his tribute show, and by the time the tribute show was over, the news had turned on him and said it was a double murder suicide and I didn't know WHAT to think.

And then the next day all the details came out hour-by-hour, and I was at work feeling pretty crummy. But not emotionally distraught because...we don't really know these people we consider ourselves fans of...Hell we don't even know our own friends family and co-workers like that. Spouses even. But all the tv coverage has focused on is steroids.

Why?

I think we need to have a discussion about psychological issues and mental stress and demons. Because that's what this man was dealing with. I don't know how I feel about him anymore but I enjoy watching his work. It doesn't feel weird yet. Probably because I haven't seen any photos of the crime scene. Chris Benoit is a murderer? No wait, I thought that was my dude...whats he doing killing people?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ End synopsis

For those of you that don't know, I'm a huge professional wrestling fan. HUGE. You see the photo of me with the title belt in my myspace photos collection. I've been a fan since I was 5. It appealed to my competitive side the same way that baseball and game shows did, way before I knew it was scripted. By the time I found out it didn't really matter.

Last Sunday, the WWE was in town for one of their monthly pay-per-views. Normally I watch it with the boys at a bar. We use it as an excuse to catch up and drink beer and eat fried food. They've been to Houston before and I didn't go to the live show, but this time was different. Two weeks before the show they finally announced some of the matches, and I was ready to go. Why? Chris Benoit v CM Punk. Simply put, I paid to see Chris Benoit.

One of the best wrestlers of the last 30 years.

I've been trying to write about the Benoit family tragedy for a week.
Chris Benoit is/was one of my five favorite performers of all time, and at the time of his death, top 3 amongst current active performers. Then he went and killed his wife and son in gruesome manners, then himself. What am I supposed to think and feel about that???

Last Sunday, exactly a week from when I was writing this, I was a little crunk. I had just got a $100 ticket right by the floor seats for the low (thanks to the guy who ended up sitting next to me and overpaid, lol), I had a few beers with Don and Aisha at the Flying Saucer on our way in, and I didn't have to wait in line to get in because I'm smooth like that. (That, or I'm just less nice than most wrestling fans, who usually fit the shy, quiet, internet geek mold...oh wait - that means I'm a... nevermind)

The Toyota Center crowd was fired up for the whole show. Most of the early matches kinda sucked, but that wasn't a big deal because this is HOUSTON and folks were ready. Then the referee came out for the ECW Title match, and the energy of the place went even higher. First out, CM Punk. Young up and coming guy with a lot of promise and some cool moves in his set.

I turned around and saw some guy in a black cowboy hat and sunglasses with a sign that said "CM Punk v Benoit = Classic"

That pretty much summed it up for me. That's why I was there. I wanted to see that ONE match. Otherwise I'd be at the bar. I got my camera phone video ready for his entrance when the ring announcer let out:

"And Chris Benoit's replacement...Johnny NITRO!!!!"

I need to post this video. The entire arena was PISSED, the only good match on the card - ruined. The immediate visceral reaction was 20,000 people going "whhhhhhhaaaaaaat???" in disbelief. Punk and Nitro fought for 10 minutes. 8 of them were drowned out with "WE WANT BENOIT! clap-clap-CLAPCLAPCLAP! WE WANT BENOIT!" chants.

So I texted my friends watching at a bar and according to the television announce crew he had to return home to Atlanta due to a family emergency. It sucked but that's real life. Well they didn't tell US that at the Toyota Center, so there were some pretty pissed off people. I wasn't the only person who felt like he had wasted his money at that point. It wouldn't have been so bad but ALL the matches sucked until the semi-main event. Edge beat Batista and that was a lot of fun.

Bad guys who get cheers from the "grown male" demographic at the expense of the good guys makes for great theater. I'd explain but it doesn't really matter. Go Edge.

So I go home a bit disappointed in the show but I still had a good time. Probably because I decided to. The WWE has been putting out some b.s. for the better part of 4 years (They can hire me, Mario and Damien and the ratings will be fixed in a month. guaranteed). Well the next day was Monday Night Raw at 8/7c on USA. This is a weekly show and quite often, the highlight of my tv week. Well...it used to be. See: the rest of this paragraph). I'm looking for a townhouse so at 7 I was driving around The Heights looking at what was out there. I saw a Long John Silvers (hadn't seen one of those in a while) and decided to get some fried chicken and fish, despite my decision earlier in the day to avoid fried foods. (I psychically paid for this later...boy did I pay...)

While I'm in line, I get a text that said Chris Benoit and his family were found dead in their house earlier on Monday. I IMMEDIATELY got mad at my boy who sent that to me and told him to stop wasting my fucking texts with internet gossip. Mario calls me and I told him it didn't make sense, look it up on the internet and he said...it was true.

WHAT?!

I didn't race home, but I did end my townhouse re-con to go see RAW. Sure enough, as they normally do when someone dies (that tells you too many wrestlers die young), they were doing a tribute show to Chris Benoit. If I had wrote this last monday night, it'dve been a tribute blog to my favorite wrestler. Because that's what Chris was. I would've talked about his top notch skills and how his shortcomings (lack of charisma, microphone ability) kept him from being a super rich man but he overcame that to win the title at Wrestlemania 20 in what for me is still one of my 3 favorite memories as a fan. I would've talked about a lot of stuff and probably went into explaining the politics of professional wrestling like I did when my dad called me on Wednesday.

And then he started murking his wife and kid. What the Fuck, Chris!?

WHAT

THE

FUCK!?!?!?

Chris...I called him Chris like I know I actually know this guy.

We really don't know these people we watch on TV. These sports stars(O.J., Rae Carruth), these musicians (R. Kelly), these politicians (too many to name)...How do you see something like this coming? Maybe you don't.

Most of his friends say they didn't see it coming either. So how can I, a big fan of his work, see it coming? And how does that affect my view of his work.

I'm watching a Chris Benoit match from 2002 right now on youtube. I don't identify this man with double murder. I guess thats like people who still listen to R. Kelly or don't hide the fact that they enjoyed watching OJ Simpson at USC and in the NFL.

...I don't know...maybe I should feel weird looking at his matches.

Over time I probably will. Or maybe I won't. As a wrestler, Chris Benoit was pretty good. As a man, Chris Benoit tapped out to real life.